A bum note of a book

Most of the time, I try and avoid saying anything bad or mean on here. I’d find it hard to slag someone’s work off to their face, so it’s not something I want to do online. However, I do make one exception – celebrity books.

Not all celebrity books obviously, because some stars are just sickeningly talented, and if they want to make a foray into prose that’s a-ok with me. But not many of them fall into that category, so there’s generally plenty for me to be gnashing my teeth over. The latest offender is an upcoming offering from P. Diddy.

It’s a book about women’s bums, apparently. Pitched as something for your coffee table, he plans to collect pictures of ladies’ backsides and treat us to a few anecdotes and memories – whether the memories are about the bums or just about his life in general, I haven’t quite managed to figure out.

This makes me very sad.

I mean, I like bums. I might even like a book about bums, in the right hands. Somehow I suspect this book will not make me feel good about bums. Which is a shame, because I like the idea of feeling good about bums in general.

Building a little workspace nest

Slowly, slowly, we are beginning to settle into our new home. For some reason, I’ve been feeling as though it’s taking far longer than normal, maybe because I know I won’t be moving out of this one again within the next month or so (unless something horrible I don’t want to even imagine happens) and so have been able to give it time to settle. Or maybe I’m just worried about messing up what it basically a flat full of potential.

Whatever the reason, I’ve finally managed to put it behind me a little and get a desk properly set up. At the moment, it’s still a little too plain and organised – you can see my past working conditions here! – but it’s getting there.

Lynsey May desk space, work space, writers desk

Hopefully I’ll get around to properly pimping it out soon, and I’m sure that when I do, I’ll enjoy every moment of it. There’s nothing like getting your own little space sorted out for making you feel warm and fuzzy, or I think so anyway.

Whether it’ll actually encourage any more work, well, that’s definitely another question.

Various Authors out and about

Various Authors from The Fiction Desk

Various Authors from The Fiction Desk

The new anthology from The Fiction Desk I’ve been all excited about is now out, about and available to buy direct through pre-orders or your friendly neighbourhood bookshop (if you’re still lucky enough to have one).

And if you’d like to have a sip and find out whether it’s your cup of tea, why not have a try of a free Various Authors sample pdf? Or, if you’re a Kindle owner – or you have the Kindle App on your phone (took me so long to twig I could do that it’s embarrassing) – you can also download their sample, which happens to have my entire story in.

Apptrap, are you defined by digital?

many books on shevles and stacked on the floor.

A small selection of my messy books


I work in a digital company; we provide a variety of services for companies who have a presence online. This means that I’m probably more exposed to the tech driven world than plenty of other people I know. However, I like to think I’m still a bit of a traditionalist at heart.

True, I love my iPhone (and the Ether app in particular). Ok, I have a blog, Twitter and Facebook. Yes, I do check my emails about a million times a day. But I’ve not been swallowed up by the digital dragon – yet. I still write longhand, I still love unfolding a broadsheet, I never want to stop leaning back in the bath with a new, slowly wrinkling, book.

Only occasionally do I lie awake at night and worry that all of my thoughts are becoming shallow and superficial, that I never have enough brain space or time to delve a little deeper. Most of the time I think the balance is about right and all of that technology is only there to help me.

But if that’s the case, why does the drawing above our social media department fill me with such a feeling of cold foreboding? Maybe because the wobbly picture of an iPhone and its apps spells out the message: These Define Me.

That’s not what I want to hear. Certainly not what I want to believe about myself. If I have to be defined by anything, I want to be things like hot peppermint tea and cold coffee, five groaning bookshelves, ink stains on my fingers, a fuzzy dressing gown, the smell of our breakfast cooking, the cracks of light at the edge of the blind that tell you to hurry up and lift it. What about you? How would you prefer to define yourself?

Today, I am Various

Various Authors from The Fiction Desk

Various Authors from The Fiction Desk

Don’t worry, I’m not having some kind of crisis, I know I’m only one person really (although I guess that’s a questionable concept for any kind of writer). However, not only am I not suffering from some kind of personality disorder, but I am a pleased as punch kind of person today, as details for Various Authors – a new regular anthology from the folks behind The Fiction Desk – have been announced and you’ll find my name among the many.

Together, we are various; alone, I merely vary.

I’m really looking forward to receiving and reading this, there are some impressive and interesting names in there, but I will have to be patient for just a little while longer. Actually, it is due to be released on April 18 – the day after the new flat will finally be hooked up to the net. I have a feeling that is going to be a good week.

Art too perfect to be passionate?

a manuscriptExpression or execution, which holds the most merit when it comes to creative endeavours? It’s a long standing question, but it’s one I find endlessly fascinating.

One of the reasons the topic is at the forefront of my mind this slightly dreary Thursday is the question asked by Guardian critic Tom Service: ‘Do British orchestras play too perfectly?’ He is not alone in wondering if this perfection has somehow drowned the vital spark of intensity that makes a good performance a great one.

black swan posterBut it’s not only perfection of a musical kind that’s got me thinking, a belated trip to see Black Swan has also set the cogs whirring. Back in the day, I wanted to be a ballet dancer very badly and I spent a lot of time not only practicing, but also reading and absorbing everything I could about ballet. I think the film does an excellent job of highlighting one of the most difficult aspects for young dancers – identifying the difference between technical proficiency and being a good performer.

So much of ballet is very strictly controlled and dependant on established restrictions that it’s easy to plough all of your efforts into getting every step, posture and gesture correct, but the real measure of success is the ability to emote and engage with your audience.

When it comes to writing, we’re a lot freer that we are in many other mediums. The constraints and conventions obviously vary depending who or what you are writing for – an article, a blog or a novel all set up very different reader expectations – but aside from the ability to somehow communicate words to someone else, I can think of very few writerly rules that cannot be broken for the sake of expression.

writing and sleepingYet, overall, it seems that very few people actually choose to break many of these rules, and I wonder whether this is because the majority of them work, and work well. But I also can’t help contemplating the idea that by making sure we pay attention to our grammar, our spelling, our arc, our character progression, our themes and cliff-hangers, are we sometimes stifling the impulses that could make our good, competent work great?

It would be easy to ask whether we are all striving too hard for our writing to be perfect and prescriptive, and therefore missing out along the way. But when I think of all of those hours of ballet practice I remember the best dancing lesson I ever learned: it take years and years to train your body to the point it will remember the rules and steps for you, and that’s the point at which you can really begin to dance.

I think the same holds true for writing, you slave away at it all for what feels like forever, until the day you can start to subtly bend and break the rules to allow you greater freedom to tell your story. The trick must be to make sure you never fall into the problem Tom describes, and allow the pursuit of perfection to become your driving force to the detriment of the art.

Empty rooms and potential plans

Lynsey May in her flat

Dancing for joy at the new flat

What a crazy week! I’ve finally made it into my new house but I can still barely believe it’s actually happened. We’ve been wandering around the rooms, making plans and thinking about all the potential each holds. One of the best things about it has to be the nice little study we’ll be sharing. How well the sharing part of it will work out remains to be seen, but the fact Ink and I will have some proper space to spread out and work in is awesome.

two dancing doves Lynsey May EtherVery little writing has been done recently, but I’ve been trying to edit as I go. Couple of rejections rolled in over the moving in period, but I’ve been so happy about the flat and the future opportunities for long nights reading, writing and relaxing they haven’t made much of a dent. Onwards and upwards and all that jazz. Also, I was probably buoyed by the fact my Two Dancing Doves story made it into the top five of the Ether bestseller list for a while over the rockiest patch.

Now I can’t wait to start unpacking the books, we just need to build the bookcases first!

Five things writing has done for me

Sometimes, writing gets a hard rap. I mean, it can be a lonely and thankless kind of pursuit – especially if you haven’t started submitting or sharing your stuff yet – and there tends to be a lot of self doubt and musing mixed in. But it ain’t all bad. In fact, it can be pretty amazing.

I’ve put together a little list of the things I think writing has done for me, aside from personal satisfaction and an occasional pat on the back, in a practical sense.

1. Widening horizons

Reading had done a pretty good job of this anyway, but there’s nothing like wanting to write for forcing you out of your comfort zone. Instead of only reading the books I’m pretty sure I’m going to like, I read a huge variety of stuff from different genres, emerging writers and different age groups. And that’s not even including the research that goes into some stories. (Yes, I do count five hours reading all news stories I can find about talking dogs online as research ok.)

2. Making friends

Loads of people enjoy writing and even more enjoy reading. Getting chatting to them online has shown me your friends don’t have to have the same tastes as you to be great folks. You’ve already got something in common, so it’s easier to skip the ‘what’s your favourite band’ chat and move straight onto things you’re desperate to share.

3. Eating alone

Thanks to what must equate to months and months spent scribbling in notebooks in a variety of cafes, bars and restaurants, I can happily order, eat and sit staring into space on my own pretty much anywhere. Doesn’t sound like much maybe, but when I think back to how shy I was as a teenager I reckon this has been a bit of an asset – for my self confidence if not my general diet.

4. Developing a scrawl

I write by hand so often that I think my handwriting may have evolved into something else. Unless I’m concentrating, it’s barely legible. This has two benefits. One, I can take notes very quickly. Two, no one else can really make head or tail of them.

5. Word appreciation

I appreciate words and beautifully constructed sentences 100 times more now I know how difficult it can be to choose or craft them. Look how much I love the name of this street – would I have loved it quite as much had I never sat down to try and craft a masterpiece? Only the potatoes know.

So that’s five reasons for now, I’m sure there are more but my lunch break is pretty much over. Got any plus points to share?

I best start packing the books!

At last! The mortgage papers have been signed, the solicitor has been paid, and now I’m technically on track for buying my new flat! All I really have to do in the next few weeks is try to not accidentally get arrested or go bankrupt. Of course, I’ll also have to start packing – and that means booking up all of those hundreds of books, again.

I’ve moved house about three times for every two years since I left home at 17. I’m getting pretty good at packing. The only problem is, the older I get, the larger my collection of books. I’d say that for every 30 books that come over my threshold, one might end up with a charity shop – the rest I just can’t bear to part with. Good for my collection, bad for my back when moving.

This time though, I’ll be moving and knowing I’m planning to stay for a good long while, I’ll be able to luxuriate in sorting them out and re-homing them all (and I plan to buy some new shelves so they don’t end up stacked on the floor like they so often have).

many books on shevles and stacked on the floor.

A small selection of my messy books

I am so excited, although ever so slightly scared of jinxing it…. so, shh, I never told you about this new flat right? The last few months of 2010 may have dragged by excruciatingly slowly as I waited for one thing or another to be resolved, but this year has been one wild ride so far.

Blurbondency: how do you react to bamboozling book blurbs?

Blurbondency - The feeling of let down and confusion that follows reading a book because it has a blurb from one of your favourite authors, only to find the book disappointing and unreadable. Self doubt and a re-examination of bookshelves is also to be expected.

Blurbs are powerful things. They act as the same kind of seal of approval you’re looking for when you’re eyeing up a potential date. I’ve picked up and taken home plenty of books thanks to a few words of praise from one of my favourite authors – but you can’t always count on a blurb when you’re choosing what to snuggle up with at night.

Recently I read a book I just couldn’t get into. I could see it wasn’t awful, I could see it had some merit, but there were parts of it that really stuck in my craw. I sat contemplating the cover, and noticed it had blurbs from no fewer than three of my favourite authors. A strange mixture of feelings quickly arose. Confusion – were they talking about the same book? Self doubt – can’t I even tell a good book when I look at it? Shaken faith – are my favourite writers not the all-knowing beings I hoped they were?

Ultimately, I know that when judging books – as with all other art forms – there’s a great deal of subjectivity involved. You say tomato, I say pulpy, soppy trash. But that won’t stop me from suffering a good dose of blurbondency when the book and the blurb just don’t seem to fit.