Test tube tears

For someone inching their way towards their late twenties, I cry an awful lot. At films, at songs, at books, and, more embarrassingly, at all kinds of things that happen to me personally – from relationships to lost belongings. Luckily for me, I’m quite a discreet crier and awkward situations have been minimal.

Over the years I’ve had plenty of tricky relationships; lovers I didn’t love or who didn’t love me. I cried every remnant of them out of my system. And that’s generally considered a healthy thing.

But I can’t stop myself from sometimes also welling up when a get a writing-rejection – the short stories I send out are captured and calcified parts of myself after all. I also occasionally find myself crying over a manuscript I can’t manhandle correctly. That’s on the days when the idea of not being able to reproduce that particular moment on paper is a terrible one.

So I’m looking at my life and my collection of tissues and I’m thinking: what’s provoked the greatest flood, the men or the manuscripts?

I’d slip into my finest mad-scientist-lady outfit if I thought I could juggle the test tubes to weigh up the tears, but I can’t help wondering if I’d really want to know the answer. I’m not sure what kind of person it would reveal me to be.

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4 responses to “Test tube tears

  1. This was a really great post, Zee.

    On an unserious note, “crying like a baby” is a great tag!

    Also you can admit that you cried when I was gone too <=)

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  2. It’s the winds of change Lynsey. You are changing and that is always traumatic. I don’t know how old you are, but the blood and personality does renew itself every seven years, it certainly did for me – so take heart. All things must pass. Rejection? think of the Bronte’s or (this should cheer you up –
    http://www.examiner.com/x-562-Book-Examiner~y2009m3d20-20-famous-authors-who-were-rejected-repeatedly-and-sometimes-rudely-by-publishers

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    • what a poetic response – I like it! I’m pretty resistant to change in general, so I can see me throwing fits for under-the-skin changes too.

      Thanks for the link too, I’ll read it problerly over lunch (and think ha! to myself!)

      Like

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